I wanna stay at home...

Nothing I write will ever be short, brevity is just not part of who I am...

I know I am going to sound like a real dimwitted idiot right now, but I am not convinced that Susan B. Anthony and her cronies did us females much of a favor back at that 'ole Seneca Falls Convention in 1848.  They wanted to vote.  Ok, so we got that.  It took 72 years, but we got it.  Now, we can vote. 

Along with being allowed to vote, we also got to go to work full time, have babies and return to work three weeks after the baby is born and then tearfully bring the three week old to day care, where some other person, paid $10 an hour or less gets to hold our baby, change the baby, cuddle, feed, clean and play with the baby. 

Hubby and I chose to be poor for the last 9 years, so that I could stay home (full time for a couple of years, then gradually increasing my work load as life demanded it) and have all of these priceless memories.  I regret none of it.  Being humbled financially made me a better person.  I read a book by an Austalian chick named Mem Fox when my oldest was 1.  It was called Reading Magic and it was all about how simply reading to your children gives them the tools they need to read and learn things more easily.  I am a teacher and I have taken all of these classes about literacy and all that stuff...and they all agree.  OK, so I read to my kids every day (OK, not on Fridays and Saturdays!)...and they are doing pretty well in school, so no complaints with that theory.  I brought up Mem for a reason though:  I was recently on her website and saw a posting she placed on it about babies going to day care (babies, not 3 year olds folks!) and how they are at such a disadvantage.  Let's face it, anyone who has raised a baby to age three knows that a baby does not always pee on schedule, or want food on schedule.  A baby in day care is only going to be changed on schedule and fed on schedule, and touched and cuddled with on schedule and not by a parent, by that $10 an hour person who we pray had a background check before they were hired...it's freaking sad.  Mem, go you for having the guts to write it, I agree!

Now, is it moms fault?  Or dads?  No, it isn't.  I get why they made that choice.  They worked hard for what they have and they did not want to give it up, can't blame them there.  Hubby and I gave up an adorable little ranch house that we broke our asses to fix up and make nice for a family.  Who knew we'd get pregnant so fast, the stick test had two lines and the for sale sign went up.  We could not pay our mortgage on one income, so back to renting we went.  We trusted God that our dream might take longer, but would still happen.  As a parent and teacher, I see the different parenting styles and how these kids turn out, we all do, even though many of us are sticking our heads back in the sand about how we are doing with our own kids....  Kids who are given too much attention get bratty and demanding.  Kids who are given none either create a world to exist in, or erupt in the reality we all share in unpleasant ways.  There has to be a happy medium...

Now, back to Susan B. Anthony:  She wanted more equal treatment for women, more opportunities, etc.  I get it.  I appreciate it.  I went to college, a chance I would not have had 200 years ago.  I am proud of my education and the work I put in to earn it.  My gripe is that if I wanted to JUST STAY HOME and be a mom , homemaker and wife, like would have been my lot 200 years ago, well, folks, that choice is out of my reach.  America has evolved into a society where the two income household exists to survive, not for the extras.  My grandfather drove a bus, my dad was a janitor and security guard and mom has worked full time my entire life.  I have a Master's Degree and I'm married to an electrician.  We all live within two blocks of each other.  Gramps had his house paid off in 23 years.  Dad will have his paid off in 35.  I will never see mine paid for.  I want to be a better homekeeper, grow my own veggies, make my own curtains and cook healthier food for my family, but that is only going to happen when God adds some hours to the day, because: I work 25 hours a week, run a girl scout troop, run my kids to sports and school events and help on the PTA at their school... and  desperately try to keep up with laundry and cook food that did not come saran wrapped in the freezer department or visit my friends at the drive thru again (did I mention I spend most of the year as an insomniac...I sleep in the summer, heat sucks...) ...I try to keep the kids my priority.  As a result my marriage is a cohabiatation situation, a nice guy I used to know well, but rarely see anymore, who helps me pay for stuff and fixes things in the house when he can stay awake.  I lost myself in 2002 and can't even remember who I am, what I like (besides sushi and twizzlers)...most days I think of myself as a spiritual being whose soul dried up and is searching for herself, lost in the woods, looking for a chance at a rebirth...

My conclusion is that the vote came at too high a price for me.  Considering the role of the electoral college only convinces me more that my vote might just be a waste of time.  (YES, I do vote folks!) America is clearly at a tipping point.  So many cataclysmic things are going on that change is inevitable.  History tells us that when the needs of the masses are not being met, change is not far away.  Maybe my daughter will be able to stay home full time with her babies...I pray for her to have the choice...